So I prepared you for some more meaningful blogs, but before I can do that, I must close out the month of September. And nothing could be more meaningful than this month–meaningful in more ways than I can possible relate. I’m mostly going to just post pictures because it would take me a book to describe the impact the 3 events had on me, and I’m sure I’ll be relating stories for a while.
Despite the Tropical storm barreling down on us, the rain held long enough for us to accomplish a 3 year goal to do this swim together. Luckily, the air and water temp were still warm–warm enough for me to swim w/out a wetsuit. My mother even took hers off during the swim as it was too confining; she was determined to do the entire 1.4 miles backstroke! And she did it. C and I became pilot fish to keep her on track, and we did in fact all finish together.
It was an amazing chance for bonding and healing. The swim took place 3 years after getting my positive diagnosis and 3 years after a very difficult time sharing that information with my mother. I’m really proud of her and how we have both grown over the past 3 years. As she said, her memories of Provincetown have now been able to evolve into ones of hope, love, and happiness.
The Harbor to the Bay was a challenge. It happened two weeks after the swim and after two weeks’ worth of work trainings in Boston which had left me exhausted and sick. It was an exercise in determination as nothing seemed to be going right. From the cancelled afternoon ferry (the only time this season the ferry was cancelled due to high seas) to the 11pm late night ride through Boston to my hotel, from the 4 hrs of sleep to the hemorrhoids and herpes outbreak, from the lack of coffee to the forgotten allergy medicine to the elusive morning bowel movement that didn’t come until mile 80, I was determined to get this ride under my belt and to do so with hope and optimism. I was proudly wearing the red jersey of the Pos Peds which proclaims on the back, “eliminating stigma by our positive example,” and the weather was beautiful. And despite not feeling in top shape health-wise, physically in the saddle I felt strong.
I realized quickly I was in pretty good condition after taking the lead early on. Go figure, 300 plus riders and I was up front. There was also a 3-some of guys who I figured for a team–competitive, I could tell, as they wouldn’t let up off my back. I finally let them go ahead of me and started riding with them, and while they were drafting off each other, I was careful not to do the same. I had made it clear to some other riders that I needed to do this ride as an individual–it was a personal journey, and I therefore didn’t want to be a part of a team other than being a “Pos Ped.”
I suppose, given we were essentially riding way ahead of anyone else, we became just that, a make-shift team, but it was also clear as I sat at the back, that I was stronger when it came to the climbs. I was holding back, and it eventually started to bug me. So I took off on the biggest climb we had–about 10 miles from the halfway point, the Sagamore Bridge which crossed the Cape Cod Canal. For me, it became more important to do what I had intended to do–use this ride as a training ride, and to have a Red jersey-wearing-Pos Ped first to the halfway mark, than it was to continue riding with these three guys out of some sort of impromptu brotherhood. I guess some of them didn’t feel that way, as one hurt ego said to me once he caught up, “that was a shitty thing to do back there.” Guess we were on the ride for different reasons, and while I apologized for meaning no harm in my own ride and aggressiveness, it certainly struck a nerve and made me question my own motivation. Of course I’m competitive, of course it’s about doing my personal best, but for me, I would have done an injustice to myself had I not gone out to do exactly what I intended to do. Train hard! I was preparing for a 300/3 day ride to take place in 6 days, so I did what I had to do. I needed to find out what I was capable of doing. I’m glad I apologized and had to laugh when I immediately got stuck with a flat after crossing the bridge (God’s trying to tell you something!), but I don’t regret pulling ahead and showing myself and those riders what a Pos Ped could do. I finished the 125 miles in under 8 hours (again, after being delayed a full 45 minutes without enough air in my changed tire) and literally crumbled sobbing into a colleagues arms at the finish line. I slept about 14 hours that night, and while I felt good physically the day after, I began to doubt my ability to do what I had just done 3 days in a row. Which I needed to do in 6 days.
The Braking the Cycle ride started in Gettysburg the following Friday, September 26. Yes, it rained every day. 275 miles in the rain or at least in some form of precipitation whether that was rain, mist, drizzle, or road spray. After an emotional Opening ceremony, we took off through the battlefields and started our treck to Lancaster, my birthplace. The first day was all about my father’s side of the family; I had stopped to see my grandmother the day before, who still lives in York County, and our route eventually passed within a few hundred yards of her again. We traveled on roads I knew well from years of going to my grandparents in Adams and York Counties. Eventually we crossed the Susquehanna, and it became about my mother’s side of the family. My mother and father were from sister cities: Lancaster, the Red Rose city, and York, the White Rose city. And both these damn counties are nothing but HILLS! Add to that all the cow and horse manure which mixes nicely with rain, and you get a lovely paste that would rival any natural spa mud. But it was home. C had dropped me off in Gburg and would be waiting at the finish line on day one; my mother was looking to see me at an earlier Oasis, but eventually, I ended up seeing them both at the end of day one. Again, competitive, I landed in early with only about 10 riders coming in before me. 
I pushed myself hard that day, and again started to question my ability to do the same thing the next day. I realized I had to pace myself–first day was only 91 miles, second was going to be closer to 110. And luckily, I had my mother, step-father, and even best friend from high school showing up along the way at various spots. It was great and wondefully encouraging. And I also had some terrific women, equally competitive, who kindly set a great pace for me. Again, came in with only about 8 people ahead of me on day two. Seemed like the easy part (81miles) would be a piece of cake the next day.
And essentially it was. Until I took my spill on wet RR tracks 5 miles before lunch (God trying to tell you something….AGAIN!.) I had been bookin’ and was the 2nd into the lunch stop, mile 53, but I was also covered in blood from the roadrash I received skidding across those tracks. Fortunately, a sweetheart, Scott, was right behind me and suggested we ride out together after I got bandanged up. I was naturally a bit wary of even getting on my bike again especially knowing we had 30 miles of NJ street traffic to look forward to. Without his help, it would have been a rough last couple of hours. As it was, it was great. As he jokingly “mothered” me through, I was so grateful and happy to not only have the support but also to have found someone who matched my own physical abilities. We finished 3rd and 4th. So THAT’s what being on a team is about! See, I’m learning.
It was an emotional return to NYC after riding the ferry across the Hudson. I had to skip the closing party as I was utterly exhausted, sore, and still oozing blood. But the closing ceremony was touching and wonderful. 130+ riders raised over $414,000 for the Center. That is INCREDIBLE. It was an amazing experience, and amazing month, but now I’m left with a dilemma. So’s my mom. She’s thinking about crewing next year for the ride which will take us back over the original rides’ route: Boston to NYC. But it’s the same weekend as the Swim4Life which also happens to be my mother’s birthday! Guess I’ll let her choose what she wants to do, but I’m gunning for the bike ride.
ASGCC, Inc.
Pos Peds