Leggo My Ego, Part 2

I don't even remember how long it ago I wrote the original.  Don't remember exactly what it was about.  But as I sat through my one year anniversary of NOT blogging (is there a chip for that??) waiting for the right thing to say in order to start again, I had to question what it was all about.  "It" being the hiatus.  Thanks to all who were concerned but most that know me understand that I've been in a process and that the time would eventually come when I would come out of that process as (drum roll, please) the 'authentic' Spencer.  I'm still using quotes because it's going to take me a lot more than 5 years to figure out what is truly authentic.  Believe me, I'm worlds away from it, but I'm also worlds closer. So what was the hiatus about?  I set a goal to NOT BLOG FOR A YEAR.  Over-achiever that I am, I managed almost 14 months.  And now here I am, trying to figure out what to say to re-enter the world of public display.  And trying to figure out why I'm even bothering. ... Read More →


Good Ridance, Facebook

I finally deactivated my Facebook account.  I've had it for almost two years; it'll be two years in April because I created it the week I left rehab.  It seemed a great idea at the time especially as I already had a myspace account which was nothing but frustrating (deleted long ago).  Facebook was a godsend, and given the importance of wanting to stay in touch with all of my new rehab buddies, it seemed like a great relapse prevention strategy.  Just like being able to go to an AA meeting, it would be possible to interact with others in times of need but in a virtual setting.  No more need to deal with individual emails, Facebook would surely help simplify my life.  After all, I already had a blog and website both of which were partly responsible for driving me full speed into rehab in the first place--I was obsessed with building my site, making it interactive, holding chats, answering emails, doing everything possible to make sure anyone who reached out to me would get not just... Read More →


Comment Follow Up

To all those who haven't given up on me, a big thanks.  It's always great to see comments on the entries whether they agree, disagree, challenge or critique or even condemn.  I'm in VT right now with L--took advantage of having another training in Boston last Thursday and one in Worcester next Tuesday.  Decided to spend my birthday up here; an appropriate "healthy" choice given VT's new title as "Healthiest State" in the nation.  Life is different up here and yet awfully similar to life on the Lower Cape; we had to drive an hour to Littleton, NH in order to shop (Hyannis is about the same from Provinetown). Anyway, I checked in on the blog this morning and read some comments and felt inclined to comment on Jeff's in particular.  I totally agree with him and his stance on World AIDS Day, but I also wanted to clarify my thoughs on how insular our country is.  I wanted my focus to be on the notion that most people in this country can't see beyond its borders.  That's why people are... Read More →


World AIDS Day-late

What could possibly make me come back to blog after yet another month-long hiatus? I wasn't sure if I had it in me. It's been a tough fall-November, yet another tough month. And now I'm looking back to my pathetic lack of consistency and dedication to a project I thought had some significance in my life, this blog, and I'm once again hoping for some salvation. Fortunately, I'm aware enough to realize the 'project' most significant in my life IS my life and not some self-created obligation which only succeeds in making me feel guilty when I don't follow through by blogging more regularly. And so I've been focusing on my life. Self-care, etc. So what brings me back, albeit a day late? World AIDS Day. What did I do? Considering the extent to which some went out of their way to mark the occasion, I did very little. I could have taken part in the lighting of luminaries across the country, but the honest truth is I would have felt hypocritical doing so. One person I knew died of AIDS,... Read More →


Last Weekend, Last chance

I can't begin to catch you up on the past weeks.  Just the fact that I haven't blogged or posted info on the play until now, before our last weekend, should be evidence that I've been crazed.  I'll leave "crazed" open for interpretation because I've probably gone through all its definitions at one point or another in the past month.  It hasn't been pretty.    BUT, the play is fucking incredible.  Period.  We've gone through 7 performances over the past two weeks to rave reviews.  It is a play unlike most have ever seen.  And David Drake has created a genius production that flows, shocks, and evokes myriad emotions from the actors and audience.  Minimalistic in set and costume, it's stark appearance simply magnifies his wonderful casting choices. Seriously, each of my 4 colleagues is brilliant in his/her part.  Unfortunately, fall in Ptown is tough.  The crowds have been sparse which threatens the viability of doing this sort of year-round theater at the Art House.  It's... Read More →


September

  So I prepared you for some more meaningful blogs, but before I can do that, I must close out the month of September.  And nothing could be more meaningful than this month--meaningful in more ways than I can possible relate.  I'm mostly going to just post pictures because it would take me a book to describe the impact the 3 events had on me, and I'm sure I'll be relating stories for a while.               Despite the Tropical storm barreling down on us, the rain held long enough for us to accomplish a 3 year goal to do this swim together.  Luckily, the air and water temp were still warm--warm enough for me to swim w/out a wetsuit.  My mother even took hers off during the swim as it was too confining; she was determined to do the entire 1.4 miles backstroke!  And she did it.  C and I became pilot fish to keep her on track, and we did in fact all finish together. It was an amazing chance for bonding and healing.  The swim took place 3 years after getting my positive diagnosis... Read More →


End of Summer Updates

What can i say other than, "It's good to be the King!" Yes, the summer has ended with a furious rush of activities including our closing week with the show, the start of a new one, Carnival in Ptown, and a dozen or so other bits added to the mix.  The following is a brief update so that I can get it all out of the way before I settle down to do some 'real' blogging.  Meaning, I need to get back on my soapbox and write the sort of entries I started with.  While I want to keep everyone up-to-date on my comings and goings, they, in themselves, don't consititute a blog.  As I spend more and more time training for my bike rides, I've had time to reflect and write in my head.  I'd like to start getting that stuff down--the real stuff, the meaningful stuff.  Anyway, here's the update.  Carnival came and went.  Was voted King of Carnival (see pix:  CARNIVAL) not because of a popularity contest or because of my charm but because I happen to raise the most money for charity the night of... Read More →


Tribute: Round 4

What better way to honor my grandfather who passed away this morning than to offer up his last recorded words.  My grandfather was pure showman--a man who loved being on the stage whether that was literally or figuratively just sitting in a kitchen chair.  He had committed to memory poems, readings, ditties, family histories and coversations, etc., all of which he shared whenever he could.  The theater in me came from him. When I was home in April for another funeral, he recited the following poem.  It's an honor to share it.  linkscolor = "000000"; highlightscolor = "888888"; backgroundcolor = "FFFFFF"; channel = "none";  Read More →


EXTENDED!

Just an FYI:  2 Boys In A Bed On A Cold Winter's Night will be extended through the month of August on Tuesdays and Wednesday evenings at 9pm.  If you thought you might have missed it, here's your chance. Check out Jason Bellini's segment on Ptown's "Barkers."  You'll get a glimpse of the show! linkscolor = "000000"; highlightscolor = "888888"; backgroundcolor = "FFFFFF"; channel = "none";  Read More →


Donations Gladly Accepted

And very much appreciated!  I'm not going to repost the entire blog, but please revisit the original call for support for the Braking the Cycle ride coming up in September.  http://spencerquest.com/blog1/?p=130 Fact is, I'm back asking for support.  And I'm doing another ride!  On September 20, I'm going to be riding 125 miles from Boston to Provincetown for the AIDS Support Group of Cape Cod.  Yes, this is 6 days before I start the 275 mile Braking the Cycle ride from Gettysburg to NYC.  I figured the day ride will be a perfect long training ride.  And if I can do this, perhaps the next one will be the 500+ ride from LA to SF next year!  Or Montreal to Portland.  Who knows. If you could reach into your pockets or help me muster up donations it would be greatly appreciated!     Brakingthecycle.org, Rider:  Spencer Keasey, Goal: $10,000         Harbortothebay.org, Rider: Spencer Keasey, Goal: $1000 Thanks for your support. spence linkscolor = "000000"; highlightscolor... Read More →